Cunning Shaver

An ingenious thief

"I have to give Dex credit for the scam he pulled on that old lady. She's totally convinced he's her long-lost grandson who was supposed to have died in the Gulf War, and now he stands to inherit a fortune. What a cunning shaver!"

Cuddie

Fool

"Anyone who thinks Drew Brees is going to get the MVP this year is a total cuddie."

Wibble

A bad drink

"Janet thinks of herself as a real mixmaster, but her latest concoction, The Lacy Eight – consisting of gin, rum, and peppermint schapps – is some serious wibble."

Xantippe

A pain in the ass

"When we first started dating, Jackie was a whole lot of fun. But now she's always expecting me to have a master plan, and gets annoyed when I ask her what she wants to do. What a total xantippe!"

Wet Parson

Con Artist

"Janet and Brad are always trying to convince me that their papers are late because of circumstances out of their control. Please! These kids are just a pair of dime-store wet parsons."

Whiddler

An informer

"If not for the courage of Jack Brown, our fearless whiddler who blended right in with those clowns, we would have never have been able to bust that group of Betel dealers."

The Monosyllable

Sex

"We've been dating for two months, and all Silas wants to do is take long walks and cuddle. If we don't do the monosyllable soon, I'm gonna go out of my mind!"

Pogy

Drunkie

"Janet and Evan came to the Christmas party as Jane Eyre and Rochester, and got tres pogy; within an hour they'd monopolized the misteltoe. Life at Thornfield Hall must be hot!"

Mill Twig

A Shirt

"Sam is always using words that no one understands, and it's getting annoying. Like, last night, we were at the bar, and he turned to Bob, motioned to his shirt, and said, 'That's quite a nice mill twig you're sporting.' Jesus, dude, do you have any idea how pretentious you sound?"

Daint

A person of particular tastes and uptight behavior

"Jim brought his boyfriend home for Christmas. He was all right, but man, what a daint! He wouldn't eat oysters because, and I quote, 'They're squishy,' and when the dog came in covered in snow he almost ran to the other side of the room. Why can't Jim find someone we can actually be excited about?"

Loaf

A Problematic Situation. A Serious Quandary.

"When I saw the skunk charging at me, looking like I'd wronged him for the last time, I thought, Man, I am in a truly bad loaf."

Jarkman

A person who makes fake IDs

"Danny, Jane, and I went across town to see Admiral Jake, a jarkman whose work is flawless, but when we knocked on the door, he shooed us off. 'My crazy cop uncle is here,' he said, still in his robe even though it was past noon. 'Get out of here or I'm gonna get busted.'"

Deady

Gin

"When she told me her favorite deady was Bombay Sapphire, I knew this was gonna be a great first date. 'Two deadys and tonic!' I yelled to the bartender, who obliged with a wink."

Janizaries

A Mob. A Riotous Rabble.

"We rushed over to Ben and Jerry's to get a free sample of their new ice cream, Coconut Creampuff. But the scene got ugly when they ran out of said samples, and the crowd, already low on blood sugar, turned into a bunch of janizaries, yelling "Shame on you, Ben!" and "How do you sleep, Jerry?"

Fire Shovel

A Person Who Likes to Talk. A Lot.

"Could someone please talk with Jeannie about her behavior at keggers? I swear, once she gets a few in her she's a regular fire shovel, and no one else can get a word in edgewise. Everyone looks at me like, She's your sister, dude, do something, but at this point I'm too busy standing ramboyle over my reputation."

(the) Fun

Male Reproductive Organs

"Dude, organic chemistry is so hard; it's just got me by the fun!"

Cag Magg

Bits and Scraps of Food: Leftovers of Leftovers.

"I opened up the fridge, and it wasn't pretty: a turkey leg, last week's mac-and-cheese, and a half-empty bottle of Budweiser. Serious cag magg. But nothing a little salt can't fix."

Gotch-Gutted

Pot-Bellied.

"Have you seen Greg since Christmas? He's really leading with his stomach after all that yuletide pie; dude is truly gotch-gutted!"

French Leave

To Run from Your Creditors.

"We went looking for Danny Baxter, who owed Mr. Hank two grand. We were gonna put the screws to him, but that wily fucker had gone on French Leave; knowing Danny and what a snowbird he is, I'm gonna bet that he's in Miami. We'll find him sooner or later."

Sapscull

A Simpleton. A Dummy.

"Watching you try to get one side of the Rubik's Cube was really something. I was like, man, what a sapscull."

Double Jugg

A man's derriere.

"Jim was the least talented member of the band; instead of musical ability, he was mainly known for his high-water double jugg, and the way he shook it onstage."

Bantling

A young child.

In the positive:

"Well if that isn't the cutest little bantling I've ever seen!"

In the negative:

"You know, when you complain about getting your license revoked for doing a hundred in a fifty-five, you  sound like a total bantling."

Rumboyle

To be on watch.

"Stealing the beer from the party was easy.  Dan diverted the host, and I stood rumboyle in the kitchen while Jane loaded up the bag with Miller Lite."

Marplot

A Spoilsport. A Killjoy. A Buzzkill.

"We were having a great time watching the Vikings-Packers game, but then Bob had to be a complete marplot by complaining about how Brett Favre has no accuracy left with the long ball."

Affidavit Men

False witnesses who will say anything on the stand for money. Also known as "Knights of the Post."

Example: "Dude, I was sure I would get away with stealing that Camaro off the lot, but the owner of the dealership hired some affadavit men to say they saw me gunning out of there, and now I'm flat busted!"